Bond between parents student and teacher critical

I can hardly believe that the school year is off and running. In my last column, I mentioned that the best ways to start off the year is to get to know your child's teacher. Hopefully, you are busy building a relationship with him or her. As a teacher, I have been busy getting to know my students and their families. I have returned to the days of visiting my students in their homes and seeing for myself how they live and interact at home. It is always a wonderful learning experience and the best way I have found is to build a foundation at the beginning of the year. A good relationship between a family and the school is really the most basic ingredient to a successful year. It is just a simple question of time. Unfortunately, with the daily demands of families and teachers it is rare to have any extra time. So I firmly believe like most things in life you have to make the time. Traditionally we, as parents and educators, see separate and distinct worlds when it comes to children. It is almost as if they were breathing air in one place and underwater with gills in another. If we could combine our efforts between home and schools, we would win half of the battle. Sometimes I think we forget that we are on the same team. How hard is it to remind ourselves that we both want to support the success of the same child? If the relationship is established and the lines of communication are open, we will be able to depend on each other when we need the support. Just last week, I had to call a parent in and unfortunately I had never met the family. I felt awkward and can only imagine how the parent felt coming to see me for a behavior issue when we had never been introduced or had a friendly conversation. On the other hand, when I had a problem with a family that I have already had the opportunity to meet and talk with, I felt comfortable calling mom and asking her to come in and talk with me. It wasn't stressful and had a very positive outcome, despite the nature of the meeting. The best example I can give you for establishing the relationship is the sense of community it creates. It's like the proverb it take a village to raise a child. I don't know that it takes a whole village but I do know that it takes more than one person. Everyone's job becomes easier when there is an established relationship. I feel confident that many of my parents will feel more comfortable to come to me with questions, or information that will help me to support his learning at school. I have a mother in my class who I speak to regularly and her son has had a difficult time with the new math concepts that we are working on. She has come to me several times to ask for help because she is having a hard time helping her son with the homework. I now make a conscious effort to watch her son in math and when I know that he is struggling with the day's lesson I modify the homework for him and give his mom a copy. I know you might be thinking why don't I don't automatically do that for all my students. And I do make modifications in my plans and reteach. For several students I send home modified homework. Not all parents, however, show that they really care nor do they take the time to communicate with me. I can only do so much by myself, when I have 20 students I need to teach. As a teacher, I want to know parents care and as a parent I would want to know that teacher cares about my child. How will this happen if no communication is established? What I struggle with is who should initiate the open lines of communication. As a teacher I try to take the initiative. It is worth the effort and it makes the rest of the year easier for me. However, when I think of my daughter and the years ahead, I wonder if I will do what most parents do - wait. Parents wait, maybe even hold their breath, hoping that they won't receive a call from school. I refuse to be one of those parents! I am a proud parent and want everyone to know it. And if you are my child is teacher. I want you to know how wonderful she is - a handful but wonderful! I would enjoy hearing about the relationships that have been built between you and your children's school. I would be curious to know if any parents have initiated the conversations and how they were received. If you invited your child's ^ teacher to your home for a friendly conversation, do you think they would accept? Lorena Alvarez, an Anaheim resident and Los Angeles Unified School District teacher, has a master's degree in bilingual education from Columbia University. She is the proud parent of Julianna, her 3-year-old daughter.